I sat quietly yesterday and today in mirror meditation. Strangely, I experienced something quite different from what I’d hoped to experience. I thought perhaps I might experience something profound, but instead I noticed things like my eyebrows needed plucking, and that a little frown line had started to develop between them. My attention went from one flaw to another. I sat and sat and near the close of each session with my mirror I’d catch the shimmer of my beauty attempting to shine through. I felt embarrassed as I thought to myself, ‘what pretty eyes and hair you have’. Curiously I wondered, why negative thoughts seemed to rise to the surface of my mind with the least bit of hesitancy, being gobbled up readily as fact, while the positive arose slowly and were so often negated. I started to realise I was resisting ownership of beauty and tried to figure out why. I questioned, what was to be gained from doing so? Really, what would be so wrong with embracing this portion of self that I so frequently banish from sight? Logic tells me nothing would be wrong with accepting this part of myself, and yet, awkward feelings surround embracing this little bit of self. Courage is a word that pops to mind. I think courage is a required attribute while traveling on this journey toward self, but where does one find this courage? Perhaps, it’s found spending 10 minutes a day with mirror in hand.
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